This week I received a phone call from the Enterprise Rent-A-Car loss control department. Back in January '04 I worked as a production assistant on a project for MTV Networks called Surviving Nugent: The Ted Commandments. I was sent to collect a new Chevy Suburban from the Enterprise rental facility in Waco for the camera crews to use. During the course of production, many, if not all of the rental vehicles were damaged. I overheard one of the producers talking about having spilled an entire beer in one of them. Another one was backed into with a stretch Hummer, driven by Ted Nugent himself. Anyhow, it seems that MTV, or the responsible party never paid the $795.42 bill for the damage to the suburban, so Enterprise loss control is calling me, and may ultimately refer the case to a collection agency, since I signed for the friggin' vehicle. Now, I am researching the issue on my own time, in order to shield my already battered and bruised ass from taking another beating on behalf of the network that I spent so many of my teen years watching. I knew I'd come to resent MTV sooner or later... AND Enterprise.

So, my message to MTV/VH1 is this: Pay for the damage the crew inflicted on that Suburban! Geez! It's been nearly a year! And how pathetic are you going to look if you make me take the fall for the carnies (crew) that vomited in that Suburban? Y'know, Enterprise has even made that incident a textbook case for new-hires.

An anonymous commentor was so helpful to remark that MTV did finally pay the bill on 20 Dec 2004, but not before the whole incident royally pissed me off.

When I went to the Enterprice RAC office to collect that vehicle, they treated me like some sort of VIP -- asking if I'd ever been to Texas and so on. It nearly broke my heart to tell them that I live here. I was even more dismayed when I was handed the keys to the brand new Chevy Suburban. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that the vehicle would be used in the production of a reality TV show whose producers would probably end up spilling a few fluids from a number of drinking vessels and body orifices onto the upholstery -- which they did! I'm not sure which vehicle(s) received the vomit, or if they were the same as the one(s) that had the alcoholic beverages spilled in them, but in any case, those vehicles were ready for the scrap heap by the time MTV was finished with them.

I've just returned from a river excursion whose goal was to shoot video of a jaunt down some waterways in Louisiana, during which time I ate my first oyster, saw a live alligator in a bayou from the deck of an airboat, and rode a personal watercraft through a lock. A portion of the crew drove from Waco to the rendezvous point in Shreveport, LA, where we spent the night at the Sam's Town Casino. From there, we jumped into the Red River for a short ride. We pulled out and lodged at the Hotel Bentley in Alexandria, LA. On Friday, one of the trailers that we were using to transport the personal watercraft suffered a broken axle, so we were a little late in getting to the next bit. Arthur's Airboat Tours in Des Allemands was the most visually rich segment of the trip. Arthur made every effort to show the traveling entourage a blast, and helped me get some cool shots, perched atop the boat.